aaaaa

been sitting here for a while and still i can't really think of anything to say.
but i suppose i should post something since today is a significant day (also, the eve of another significant day) and some mention is deserved.

if you do not know, today is NUS results day, and also my fourth time receiving results from NUS via the very clever form of an sms. and it was almost as if the excitement has been lost for me, as compared to the previous semesters... no pain night was toned down, i slept reasonably well, and didn't really think much about the impending results sms at all.
i guess it's just the numbing of the entire process: the starting of school and studying and recess week and midterms and assignments and mugging and deadlines and then reading week and exams and results... it all becomes more or less a routine and we get used to it.

but of course, at the moment right before one clicks to open the sms, heart rates will definitely rise as a certain trepidation suddenly washes over... that irreversible moment when the thumb makes contact with the screen, and the letters and numbers all appear instantly, hitting the eyes in a simultaneous fashion... within a second we have seen everything.

and then maybe one goes through the five stages. (or not, depending on that last figure in the sms.)

sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

either way, congratulations to those who have done well and exceeded their self-expectations! and especially to those who have received their results for the final time and graduated with much joy (:

as for those who haven't done as well as they've hoped for, it's not over and don't harbour too much disappointment for now - fighting!

ah, i suddenly realize a certain pattern if a graph could be drawn with cap on y and sem on x... (could it be correlated with something?) and also, how 'jinxy' it has been lately: yesterday night's poker cards to predict things, as well as when the sc bros wanted to make a treat bet and i said it would be risky if i did.

24th

a river flows in you

perhaps it's the season to hibernate, with the rainy weather and all.
or maybe it's 'cause everyone else is too busy working or doing their internships (which puts a little pressure on my empty holidays but it's okay), that blogs seem to be less frequently updated?
i don't know... this is probably shallow speculation on my part for i remember last year at this time i was busy posting after just starting this blog! 20 posts for my debut month, and if you don't believe me you can check the archives... that's like 2 posts every 3 days so i must have been really free during that period too.

in any case, here we are at the month of may again - the month where a full academic year has just come to a close and the long summer break has commenced, where we wait agonizingly for the sms on results day.
just like how a year has passed since this blog was initiated, it has also been a year since arts fest 2011, and the postcard that we filled up under that particular tree has finally been mailed to us one year on.

there are many things to be said about the postcard: the words, the signatures, the handwritings, positions, orientations, slants etc. but overall it generates a nice feeling to receive this postcard, and with this i am reminded of how things have changed over these 12 months. if we were to all write and sign another postcard meant for us in 2013, how different might the postcard look this time round?

last night i was lying down awaiting to sleep when a thought hit me. (in fact, most of my interesting thoughts and philosophies come up late at night as i am about to fall asleep, and it is a shame because most of the time i am too lazy to get back up, turn on the lights, and write them down.) however, on this occasion i do remember it and here goes.

it occurred to me that life, is somewhat like the journey a water droplet takes, from the top of the mountain, down the streams and rivers, into the lakes, meanders, valleys, and finally into the oceans. and we are all small water droplets.
sometimes we have our highs, near the water surface where there is much light and warmth... sometimes we have our lows, deep underwater where it is dark and cold.
there are always disturbances in the water, we can rarely experience true peace (just like how in life we can relate to this).
the water droplets beside you that accompany you during different courses of your journey down to the ocean are always changing... you make friends with many different water droplets along the way, but most you will never meet in your lifetime.
some droplets travel faster than others, some travel slower. sometimes you manage to find a few good ones and you stick together for long periods, but along the way separation into different streams and paths is often inevitable. if you are lucky, you may run into each other again somewhere down the river.
sometimes, water droplets are fortunate enough to find another that will stick with them all the way to the ocean.
and most importantly, the flow of the river is always one-way. you can never go back to a previous point, as you will not pass the same point ever again once you have left it behind.

this is to say that once things are done, they cannot be undone, so don't regret anything in life because once things are set in stone they cannot be changed. we should all just learn from our experiences, take them as lessons, and move on.

here's a nice song to listen to while you ponder about the river analogy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-4wUfZD6oc

yin-yang

there are always two sides to the coin -
the good and the bad,
the pros and the cons,
the yin and the yang.

for example, today while i was at the dean's office submitting my SEP documents, at 1pm sharp the receptionist told everyone that it was lunch break time. she asked everyone to leave the office and come back at 2pm, and this she did even though at that point in time she was currently attending to an indian family who had popped by to enquire about how to admit their daughter into FASS to major in economics. instead of staying an extra 10 minutes to help answer whatever short queries they might have, she insisted that the office be closed. but hey miss, isn't your lunch break one hour long? so what is 10 minutes?

and that got me thinking (as i too, left to print some documents and settle my lunch in order to burn the one hour) about the pros and cons of being flexible, versus being rigid when it comes to rules.
one would be likely to say "hey, strike a balance," but undeniably there are pros and cons to both.

in fact, it is clear that everything has its own good and bad points.
from deforestation to human aid, false alarms to smartphones, everything.
even the signpost erected in the park that says "no feeding" has its good and bad sides (based on my memory of the time when i was young and still staying at blk 179, where my dad told me a similar story).

therefore in life, no matter what we're faced with, always remember that there are two sides... and despite the other side's grass being seemingly greener all the time, remember that there is grass on this side as well. and also, that both sets of grass have their pros and cons.
although we tend to take the good points for granted, and exaggerate the bad ones, we must actively avoid these two processes.
similarly, when experiencing post-decision dissonance, we should always keep the yin and yang in mind.
never exaggerate or downplay either side, for both always exist.

i'm free for debate on this topic (as well as the theory of fate, as always)
- please feel free.

helper or helpee?

today is the 7th of may, 2012.
i've just moved out from sheares hall, my humble abode of C612, calling a close to the year 2 life i have spent at heng mui keng terrace.
and perhaps this calls for a bit of pensive reflection (as i like to term it).

on my way home in the unusually slow-moving traffic today, i asked myself: when you help someone, do you remember it? or is it that when somebody does you a favour, you will be more likely to remember it?

i have an inkling, that most of us tend to believe we are more likely to remember moments when we are helped, rather than when we helped someone else. and this of course should be the case, as i often remind myself of the ever-so-meaningful phrase that i once chanced upon: "take without forgetting, give without remembering."
yet perhaps it is the innate pessimist in me, who feels that the truth is in fact, the opposite - that people tend to remember it more when they were the helper, rather than when they were the helpee.

i guess it works both ways... maybe it's a 50-50 split between the two kinds.
one might be more likely to remember moments when they were helped, if they were in dire straits at the time, or if the favour really impacted and improved their lives in a significant way.
on the other hand, one might be more likely to remember it when they were the ones helping, if they didn't really want to offer their assistance in the first place (but did), or if the favour caused substantial losses/sacrifice.
and then of course we could factor in the identity of the other party (whether it was a close friend or a stranger/acquaintance), current mood/temperament, recent events, stress levels, time constraint factors etc... to determine whether the moment would be transferred to long-term memory...

at the end of the day, i suppose you could ask yourself the question of which one are you more likely to be. the one who remembers being the helper more often, or the helpee?

however, do take your own answer with a pinch of salt, because the perceived view, as we know, may sometimes prove to be very different from the actual fact (analogous to the meta-bases and structural bases of attitudes in social psychology).

just my two cents' worth today.