new year usher

it has been an eventful year, 2011... just like how every other year has been.
anyway, with 365 days per annum, i would say it's pretty hard to classify any year as 'uneventful'; most definitely something of significance would have happened along the way.

as i sit here trying to collect my thoughts and memories from this past year, i am also in the process of recovering from an illness that threatens to ruin my countdown to the new year.
but all seems well, and i hope to start 2012 fully healthy and ready to take on the next 365 days.

it will be another long and arduous journey, with the second half of year 2 coming up, and then more planning to do university-wise before engaging semester 1 of year 3. module-planning is something very important i feel, and especially with SEP to manchester coming up in 2013 (that's 1 year away), it is crucial to figure out what modules to clear, and whether i might want to get some level-4000 honours modules out of the way.

either way, before i start talking about 2012 and my plans for the forthcoming year, let's just stick to discussing 2011 and remembering the significant moments that happened this past year.

so where do i begin?

2011 has really been full of ups and downs i guess, right from the very beginning to its very end. for lack of a better word, it really has been 'eventful'.
i remember right at the very start, the moment of countdown at the singapore flyer with stanley and hilda, watching the fireworks, and then abandoning them that night.
i remember a few other similar incidents that happened that january, and the aftermath of the breakup.
it was a pretty dark semester i would say; i just tried to focus on studies.
year 1 sem 2, taking stats, cognitive, and developmental...
that chinese new year, and AYGK that happened on 初夕! |--|_
hall-wise saw IHG and ERC openhouse go by, as well as seniors farewell and the alumni dinner conducted by SL... and as such, my jobs as touch rug TM, soccer player, ERC prog cell member and SL pub cell member ended.
i then remember rushing on the 28th of april right after PL3233 paper to go to switchfoot concert, without giving much of a hoot for my last paper on the 30th (:

and then holidays flew by really quickly.
psych camp, the HK trip, SWOC, reservist, the bday surprise they threw for me at my place. i'm thankful for those people (:
(cutting short and moving on to year 2)

after SWOC and o-week where we got to know the new freshies and helped them integrate into the block, it was back to school as usual and well, termtime once again passed by pretty quickly as well.
more modules, and this time it was moving up to level 6 and meeting new hall peeps.
the level 4 short wing of 10/11 had thus ended, and i soon found new companions in CS, jon, zhenlin, mingzhe, ivan, liankai, xiaoming, yeejiunn etc.
and then there was night cycling and all the recces and planning.
oh and my injury to the ankle meant i couldnt continue my driving lessons, my bike lessons, and soccer and sepak visions were all halted... i decided to head in the cultural direction instead and auditioned for sheares band and geyao. at the same time, horizon smile started to have more performances and exposure opportunities, plus i started doing more covers and writing songs. in a sense, the roadblock in the sporting section caused much advancement in the music area... which is quite a good thing i guess.
inspirationally, music and song-writing have all been very good outlets for expressing my thoughts.
and in this life, what would we do without music?

i also have in mind a whole list of people to thank.
but that would significantly lengthen this post, and besides i'm not really in the right mind to do any form of thanking now... let me perhaps, collect all my thoughts and on another day i might just have the random urge to write them out then.

lastly, my sincerest apologies for this poorly constructed crap of words.
but this crap hereby concludes my 100th post of ynwaben.blogspot.com, to end the year.

just like how i attempted to tweet my 2011th tweet before the stroke of midnight, and my 2012th one when the new year had arrived (to create some form of meaning and significance out of nothing), let this 100th post end off the year of 2011, and subsequently, the 101st post shall start off the journey of 2012.

have a good year ahead my friends!
i leave you with wise words from a professor i greatly admire and respect.
may they inspire you as well.


"I am sure you will continue to do very well in school. And staying healthy is a must, while being happy is a bonus; we always say, regardless of situations, the one who is happy (or at least not unhappy) ultimately wins. But I think happiness must be sought top-down, since it rarely (if at all) occurs bottom-up.

And this thought is related to a personal opinion on a new year per se, which I thought I would share with you: While the boundary between 31 Dec and 1 January is, to me, arbitrary and does not necessarily guarantee a happier future year, our goal really is to try and stay happy always. Thus, may you continue to experience happy, and fulfilling, days in 2012."

p.s. the fireworks this year were awesome, not to mention the vhd company.

and... mcatdr was reset at the cityhall mrt escalator themepark slide (Y)

"thanks for helping me clean the mrt station?"

you're welcome.

triarchic theory of life

have you heard of the triarchic theory of love?
or the triarchic theory of intelligence?
both these theories are formulated by robert j. sternberg, an american psychologist.

i, however, propose a new triarchic theory in this post - one of life.

for it is my belief that in life, we all wish for three things.
   1. love
   2. money
   3. health

we need all three in order to lead a happy life.

without the first, you would grow old, live a sheltered life without pain nor disease, and have everything you ever needed... but you would have nobody to share your happiness with.
without the second, you would be poor and struggle through everyday life, living a life of poverty... this is why we are studying so hard today; we all wish to succeed and become financially stable.
without the third, life would be miserable even though you have everything else... one could be rich and lucky enough to find his/her happiness in the form of a true soulmate, but without health, nothing else matters.

if i told you i could give you two of the three, which two would you choose?


i only wish for a life of peace and happiness...
to be contented with the simple things.
to live in thrift and simplicity and not spend unnecessarily.
to work hard and fight for the things and people i love.
to always practice humility and be respectful to others.
to be kind and helpful to all in need.

anyway, without the first and the third, life would be redundant.

therefore by the process of elimination, i have quite easily answered the question i posted to you earlier.

天天开心，美梦成真。

vice verses

why do we always want the things we can't have?
and vice versa, not want the things we can have?

it's a very stupid behavioural phenomenon in my opinion, if let's say, we are programmed by nature to do so.
or perhaps it's just murphy being an ass as usual, that sonofa.

life never gives us what we want, does it?
and for the things we don't want, there are plenty.
perhaps it is the sheer abundance of such things that turns us off?
or our dislike for it that creates an illusion of exaggeration.

and for the things we can't have, maybe it's because we can't have them, that compels us to want them even more.
things always work both ways, it sometimes gets very annoying.
freaking two sides to the coin all the time...

either way, i can only hope for the best.
it'd be such a waste if this slips away... really really.

and honestly i'd hate to fathom it.


walking along the high tide line
watching the pacific from the sideline
wonder what it means to live together
looking for more than just guidelines


i know there's meaning to it all
a little resurrection everytime i fall
you got your babies, i got my hearses
every blessing comes with a set of curses
i got my vices, i got my vice verses
i got my vice verses


where are you in my broken heart?
everything seems to fall apart
everything feels rusted over
tell me that you're there


looking for signs in the night sky

numbers

all my close friends should know that i have a knack for remembering numbers.
maybe i'm just naturally good at it, or perhaps it could be that i actually LIKE to remember sequences of digits.
(think maybe it's a bit of both?)

but anyhow, the fact is i constantly remember numbers, even if i don't want to.
birthdates, telephone numbers, matric numbers, NRIC numberss, street numbers, unit numbers, postal codes, deadlines, timings, exam dates, exam seat numbers, bank account numbers, credit card numbers... you name it.
anything that involves numbers, i tend to remember...
and rather accurately too.

below are some numbers that i cannot forget.
thought it'd be good to jot them down here... just in case.
when i look back upon this post in several years' time, i hope to be able to remember exactly what all these numbers signify/represent.

300107
060407
060607
150707
090108
300108
060408
081109
230110
160410
300410
150710
231210
(231211)



可能这是我为你写的 final 一首歌...

我终于肯放手了...

goodbye my love.

labyrinth (360)

our minds are like labyrinths.
endless thinking in circles... one crazy ass maze.

imagine a huge hall, like an art exhibit where pictures are hung on the walls.
one can only hang so many pictures given the wall-space.
however, if you create a maze, adding dividers and thin walls to create many winding paths and corridors, you would be able to hang so many more paintings.

this creates an enormous amount of wall-space, enough to hang tons of pictures and memories.
but finding things would be very difficult, compared to the one big empty gallery where you can easily go through all the paintings by just standing in the middle of the hall and turning 360 degrees.

if you take a look at the human brain, you can probably see which kinda' hall it resembles.

envy people who don't think so much...

could it be that their art galleries are much less complicated?

wonder what it would be like if our minds were just one big spacious room.

no winding walls and narrow corridors.

perhaps we couldn't have as many memories or acquire as much knowledge in our lifetimes, but at least going through everyday decisions in life and locating things wouldn't be so difficult.



on a side note, the number 360 also has a separate significance.
in 5 more days, i aim to start a new chapter in my life.

and since we are in the labyrinth context, i think the past few days have been good in the sense that i now have a clearer perspective on everything?
i believe that most of the time, the way to find the solution to the maze is to simply stop, take a backseat, and think it through.
there's really no point running frantically in all directions hoping to find the exit.

so yep... i'll find my solution soon.


oh boy you ought to leave this town
get out while you can, the meter's running down
the voices in the streets you love
everything is better when you hear that sound

meet me in the morning

when you, when you forget your name
when old faces all look the same
meet me in the morning when you wake up
meet me in the morning, then you'll wake up

bitter and hardened heart
aching, waiting for life to start
meet me in the morning when you wake up
meet me in the morning, then you'll wake up


if only i don't bend and break
i'll meet you on the other side
i'll meet you in the light
if only i don't suffocate
i'll meet you in the morning when you wake


really in the mood for keane these past two days.
bend and break, perfect symmetry...
simplicity has always been the key to good honest lyrics.

so i'll just keep it simple, and wait it out.
i've always been here anyway.


i'll meet you in the morning when you wake

你想知道答案吗？

sometimes, i'd rather not know the answer.

like the leak of the business results that CS mentioned?
if i were a biz student, i wouldn't check.
after all, what's the point of knowing something that isn't confirmed?
in jon tay's words (from his young childhood when his mom asked him if he wanted to go look at toys): what's the use of looking if you're not buying?

所以，请你不要现在告诉我。

sometimes the wait is the enjoyable part.
the wait of seeing a shooting star, rather than experiencing the actual streak.
the seconds that seem to last for years as you step up to take your penalty kick.
the short silence that comes just before the bridge of your favourite song.

it's the anticipation that i'm talking about.
that feeling you get just before a critical moment is about to happen.

then when your moment comes...

there's a still in the street outside your window
you're keeping secrets on your pillow
let me inside, no cause for alarm
i promise tonight not to do you no harm
i promise you babe, i won't do you no harm


and we're caught up in
the crossfire of heaven and hell
and we're searching for shelter
lay your body down
lay your body down
lay your body down


tell the devil that he can go back from where he came
his fiery arrows drew their beat in vain
and when the hardest part is over, we'll be here
and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fear


ohhhh

lay your body down
lay your body down
lay your body down


next to mine

let you be

wrote a few songs over the weekend...
here's the lyrics to one of them.
(tune not confirmed yet but it roughly fits the feel of the song)


you were never one to be tied down
went with the wind and went with the sound
they carried you across the seasons of rain
meadows of sunshine and rivers of pain

you'd sit there in silence and stare at the sea
holding the sand and holding your knees
figuring out all the stories of life
the hidden truths and uncovered lies

wanna know the voice inside your head
you never told me what it said
and now we're split into miles apart
no one to heal my unconcluded heart

don't know why or how i fell for you
was it fate, or was i meant to?
i held you so and you held me back
but the silence you always kept intact

it wasn't love from the very start
you inched your way into my heart
now on opposite sides of the shore we sit
oceans to kill the chance that we'll meet

wanna know the voice inside your head
you never told me what it said
and now we're split into miles apart
no one to heal my unconcluded heart

wanna know the true feelings you never showed
left me begging out in the cold
but true love is sacrifice and setting you free
so i'll let you go and i'll let you be

i'll let you go and i'll let you be

so impossible

i wanna' be at the beach, listening to the tides crash.
i wanna' be in the forests, breathing nature into my lungs.
i wanna' be by the lakes, gazing into a vast reflection of the horizon.

i wanna' be there, writing songs about life, love, hope, tragedy, death.
i wanna' write songs about you, and songs about me.

maybe one day, i'll write songs about us.


so she says
"everyone's going to the party,
won't you come if i come
with a friend for your friend?
i'd be so pleased to see you
out of the classroom
wearing the smile that i'll bring you
i was hoping to learn a few things like...
do you do you like dashing the dirt
on the whole class
or talking the big smack
or playing the fool
or wearing all of the latest fashions
or bucking the new trends
wearing your old threads
or if you like coffee in the evening?
these are a few things
that i'd like to know
that i'd like to know..."


so i say
"i've been scheduled to work but i'll call in
and my friend isn't busy
he'd be happy to join me
and maybe my friend
and your friend
will hit it off
or maybe...
we will?
i'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible
or only the practical
or ever the wild
or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
but do you like making out
and long drives
and brown eyes
and guys that just don't quite fit in
do you like them?


so yes... 
i'll see 
you there."

the longest second

"when you meet the right person, you know it.
you can't stop thinking about them.
they're your best friend.
and your soulmate.
you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them.
no one and nothing else can compare..."


after watching barney break up with nora, i realised that in life, we may tend to go in the wrong direction like an idiot and fail to notice that what we're truly looking for, lies in the other.

funny how things come into focus in such a short timespan.
but then again.

hate the feeling of the longest second...
suppose we'll just have to wait and see how things go.


"we've all done bad things...
doesn't mean we're bad people.
i don't care about every detail about your past
and i hope you don't care about mine either.
what i care about is ___"

dusklight

wrote this song while i was running in the evening today.
the breeze, the clouds and the setting sun really provided much inspiration for the lyrics, but also the journey of the run itself... the pressing on and pushing forth, the sweat and exhaustion experienced.

also, as i ran past a few elderlies who were out for their evening walk, i noticed the sad expressions on their faces as they saw my tired, troubled face.
there i was, fretting about life and modules and feeling all tired and jaded.
but then those frail, fragile, weathered hands were evidence that they have endured so much more than i have.
in a sense, they have really led the hard life.
and me? what could i possibly have to complain about?

i guess it's really all or never before...
just gotta' take our chances in life and perhaps we'll find what we're looking for (:

and don't ever look back, don't ever give up.
no regrets now, c'mon.



D - x0023x (x0022x)
G - 3x023x (3x423x) (x0223x)

everybody's having a hard time
everyone is living the hard life
it's all or never before
it's all or never before
so why don't you give it a try
take a chance and aim for the skies
find what you're looking for
you'll find what you're lookin' for

sighs in the wind
you're starting to begin
with one foot out the door
one foot out the door

the sun is setting down, down
the clouds are getting out, out
but the dusklight shimmers through
i'm reaching out to you

shadows across the tarmac
the sweatdrops upon your back
are coming down in streams
keep running and chase your dreams

and the grass is dancing in unison
the roses blooming through consequence
and every flower has its thorns
through every tragedy, hope is born

don't you ever look back
don't you ever look back
you can cry on the past
but there's no use for that


everybody's having a hard time
everyone is living the hard life
it's all or never before
it's all or never before
so why don't you give it a try
take a chance and aim for the skies
find what you're looking for
you'll find what you're lookin' for


don't you ever give up now
don't you ever give up now
don't you ever look back
don't you ever look back
don't you ever give up now
don't you ever give up now
don't you ever look back
don't you ever -

don't you ever look back
don't you ever look back
you can cry on the past
but there's no use for that


everybody's having a hard time
everyone is living the hard life
it's all or never before
it's all or never before
so why don't you give it a try
take a chance and aim for the skies
find what you're looking for
you'll find what you're lookin' for

sighs in the wind
you're starting to begin
with one foot out the door

don't let me down

here's a late shout-out to all those who have helped and supported us in one way or another! be it during our practices, helping with acquiring our guitar cables and piano stands during the auditions, coming down to watch us on sunday, or even just an sms to wish us luck!
thanks for everything, i'm really happy and pleased with our 2 hour set at chijmes' hog's breath cafe... it was really an enjoyable performance (:

:|

always be my baby
shine a light
sky is falling
dare you to move
the scientist
-
yellow
all about you
iridescent
stars
blind
-
hey jude
fix you
somewhere in between
rhythm of love
collide
unwell

征服全世界

我想成為一個很厲害的人

因為有了我

讓這個世界而有一點點的不一樣




(而我的世界... 不過就是你的心)

ham puffs

soccer @ chs today was really good.
tired as we all were, plus the significant drop in performance after not playing for over 3 months, it was still as enjoyable as ever. and probably why this bunch of secondary schoolmates will still try to meet up every saturday morning to kick some ball.

today after the game, we suddenly started talking about the old stalls and canteen foods... and oh man do i miss the 40cent ham puffs and peranakan food stall. always the same order of potato, minced meat, chicken drumstick... i remember (:

and then there was what we used to call "mix"!
the 50cent drink of 100+ and ice lemon tea mixed together, that's always 10,000 times more zai than the normal 100+ or ice lemon tea (40cents).
lol it's like when guy 1 orders "uncle yi ge lemon tea"
then guy 2 orders "uncle wo yao yi ge 100+"
then the guy 3 orders "uncle, mix."
then guy 1 and guy 2 will be like wahhhh
hahahaha

sighhh thinking about it really brings back all the memories and nostalgia...
really swear i could taste the ham puffs in my mouth this morning.

oh secondary school days where have you gone?! arghh

那些年，我們一起追的女孩

really really really one of the best movies i've ever seen.

and i don't normally re-watch movies, but for this one i'd make an exception.

seriously wanna' watch it again.

anyway, it's a good start to december... the good weather, bus and train rides, xmas lights and trees, the shiok roast duck from dian xiao er, the fireworks, and the awesome movie.

just hope the rest of the month will follow suit!

please no boring december holidays, please.

btw, really feel like exploring the whole of taiwan on a motorbike!

and someone please tell me where i can buy the official soundtrack :|

又回到最初的起點
記憶中妳青澀的臉
我們終於來到了這一天
桌墊下的老照片
無數回憶連結
今天男孩要赴女孩最後的約

又回到最初的起點
呆呆地站在鏡子前
笨拙繫上紅色領帶的結
將頭髮梳成大人模樣
穿上一身帥氣西裝
等會兒見妳一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的時光
回到教室座位前後　故意討妳溫柔的罵
黑板上排列組合　妳捨得解開嗎
誰與誰坐他又愛著她

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想擁抱妳　擁抱錯過的勇氣
曾經想征服全世界
到最後回首才發現
這世界滴滴點點全部都是妳

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想告訴妳　告訴妳我沒有忘記
那天晚上滿天星星
平行時空下的約定
再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳
緊緊抱著妳