fear of the unknown

why do people always want to know things?

they can't stand not knowing.

if the military plans to transport a highly explosive warhead through a village, should they tell the people?
if a friend asks to borrow your car with the intention of using it for illegal drug trafficking across the causeway, would you rather he tell you or keep it from you?
or a simpler day-to-day example: if your arachnophobic friend happens to have one small spider crawling up her bag, would you point it out to her?

note that in all these three situations, not knowing isn't going to pose any sort of credible harm to the parties involved. but put yourself in their shoes and then decide whether you would want to know or not.

what is your answer?



this doubt is screaming in my face
in this familiar place
sheltered and concealed
and if this night won't let me rest
don't let me second guess
what i know to be real

put away all i know for tonight
and maybe i just might
learn to let it go
take my security from me
and maybe finally
i won't have to know everything

and i am falling into grace
to the unknown to where you are
and faith makes everybody scared
it's the unknown, the don't-know
that keeps me hanging on and on and on to you

classic!

hahaha be careful whenever you are trying to manipulate someone...
he or she may just be manipulating you right back.

just like how i was talking to the psych freshies denise linying and qianyun (+ hanzong hueiling and wenbin) the other day at lunch, if i were ever to become a professor at a university, the first module i'd like to offer would be titled manipulative psychology.

after all, we are always conditioning and manipulating people all the time.
even giving the slightest frown when your friend burps loudly, that is subtle conditioning... and your friend will eventually learn not to burp out loud anymore.

your actions may be conscious and intended, or totally subconscious.
either way, trust me when i say that you are conditioning other people all the time, whether you know it or not.

once you are able to master the art of getting people to do what you want them to, whether via use of conditioning or just plain playing on their hungers/weaknesses (without them knowing of course), then i'd say you have reached the next level - manipulating.

but of course, be wary...
the true master is the one who reverse-manipulates you by allowing you to believe that you are controlling them.

i will possess your heart

haste makes waste?     or     he who hesitates is lost?

i say strike the balance.


how i wish you could see the potential
the potential of you and me
it's like a book elegantly bound
but in a language you can't read (just yet)

you got to spend some time, love
you got to spend some time with me
and i know that you'll find love
i will possess your heart

there are days when outside your window
i see my reflection as i slowly pass
and i long for this mirrored perspective
when we'll be lovers, lovers at last

better together

question: what makes a full and happy life?

there's no combination of words
i could put on the back of a postcard
no song that i could sing
but i can try for your heart
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia tone loving

love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart
like why are we here?

and where do we go?
and how come it's so hard?
it's not always easy
and sometimes life can be deceiving
i'll tell you one thing

it's always better when we're together

mmm it's always better when we're together
yeah we'll look at the stars when we're together
well it's always better when we're together
yeah it's always better when we're together

in your atmosphere

FSFN.

i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i don't know what it's like to land and not race to your door
i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore

i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i'm not sure that i really ever could
hold on to a hotel key in your bedroom neighbourhood
me sleepwalking in hollywood

i'm gonna' steer clear
i'd burn up in your atmosphere
i'm gonna' steer clear
'cause i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you there
so i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore

i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i'd get lost on the boulevard at night
without your voice to tell me, "i love you, take a right"
the ten and the two is the loneliest sight

i'm gonna' steer clear
i'd burn up in your atmosphere
i'm gonna' steer clear
'cause i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you
i'm gonna' steer clear, oh yeah
i'd burn up in your atmosphere
i'm gonna' steer clear
'cause i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you there
see you there

think i'm gonna' stay, gonna' stay in the gray
think i'm gonna' stay, gonna' stay, gonna' stay...
and all the streetlights say nevermind, nevermind
and the canyon lines say nevermind
and the sunset says we see this all the time
nevermind, never you mind

wherever i go, whatever i do
i wonder where i am in my relationship to you
wherever you go, whatever you are
i'll watch your life play out in pictures from afar

wherever i go, whatever i do
i wonder where i am in my relationship to you
wherever you go, whatever you are
i'll watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar

-

SASP took a big hit today, with total spendings going over the $200 mark thanks to driving, the purchase of my I/O textbook from co-op, and grocery shopping.
sigh i will need to do better... otherwise may's trip will be compromised.

speaking of which, checked the air tickets today again: $435 (no change)
so i'm starting to suspect that this may be the lowest rate i'm going to get.
might confirm the flight dates and tickets pretty soon, like by the end of the month.

-

in other news, due to the recent (re?)surfacing of negative emotions and slightly elevated susceptibility to angst, i will be attempting to revive the PIP.
also, once my ankle has fully recovered, the FR will be implemented as well, and these (along with the initial SASP mentioned earlier) shall serve as a three-pronged approach to my intended direction for the semester.

really hope to keep these so-called 'resolutions' and maintain high standards of discipline in all areas.

let's go *clap clap* let's go!

(ad)venture

one way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.
(william feather)

and believe me, the secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!
(friedrich nietzsche)

trust me, twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, and catch the trade winds in your sails...
explore, dream, and discover.
(mark twain)

you see, security is mostly a superstition. it does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
(helen keller)

and after all, i believe that life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "wow, what a ride!"
(anonymous)

we shouldn't be simply living the length of our life, but also the width of it as well.
(diane ackerman)

the tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
(w. m. lewis)

a ship might be safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for, are they?
(john a. shedd)

the above photo is taken along highway no. 9 near taroko national park, taiwan.

and i am in the process of planning for a backpacking trip (tentatively in may this year), that will take me around the whole of taiwan on a motorcycle.

perhaps when i pass by this exact place, i might have a sense of deja vu (:

(ad)venture!

follow through, make your dreams come true

don't give up the fight, it will be alright

'cause there's no one like you

in the universe

don't be afraid, of what your mind conceives

you should make a stand, stand up for what you believe

and tonight we can truly say

together we're invincible

and during the struggle, they will pull us down

but please, please let's use this chance to turn things around

and tonight we can truly say

together we're invincible

do it on your own, it makes no difference to me

what you leave behind, what you choose to be

and whatever they say

your soul's unbreakable

so near yet so far

我不愿让你一个人

一个人在人海浮沉

我不愿你独自走过

风雨的时分

我不愿让你一个人

承受这世界的残忍

我不愿眼泪陪你到

永恒

错过了，就永远都等不到了

“ 地铁，五分钟一班。

公车，半小时一趟。

生日，一年一次。

错过一列班车，你可以再等，但有時候，

错过了一個人卻是永远都等不到了。”

today is a gift

kungfu panda was screening on channel 5 today.
and honestly i can tell you that there are many meaningful quotes to be taken away from the movie, mainly from the masters/shi'fu's in the story.

the one that struck me the most went something like this:

don't focus too much on the past, or worry too much about the future.
they say that yesterday is history, and tomorrow a mystery... but today is a gift.
that's why they call it the present.


it's just utterly beautiful isn't it?

and just like how the end of the past year marked the moving on from a previous phase in life, along with the other day when i just explained to my parents why one should not plan too much in life because things seldom ever turn out the way we planned for them to be, this quote pretty much sums up everything there is to the art of living.

there is no use lamenting on the past, and face it, things hardly ever go to plan (even today could rain non-stop all day when it has been so scorchingly sunny recently, leading to utter disbelief upon ascending the steps at the ferry terminal), so we should really just follow the words of the wise master 乌龟 and just focus our attention on the living out the present.
it truly is a gift to be able to spend each day on this earth alive.

and especially when you're doing the things you love, seeing the things you wanna' see, and spending time with the people you care about.

in that sense, today was a really good day spent out hiking and cycling in the nature despite the countless attempts by murphy to down my mood.
seriously, the choice of crazy-ass rain and frequent red lights against a motorcyclist was a pretty smart move lol

but too bad.

(o: >


wetlands mangroves schools of fishes mudskippers frogs crabs wild boars inter-tidal flats sea grass lagoons kingfishers storks eagles swallows roosters hens changing tide levels slippery rocks rain wind clouds sun airplanes hot air balloons bear meat pomfrets and piranhas vhd > dsd

the blues

it has been a slow start to the new year... i like to think of it as the slow pace one takes at the beginning of a marathon, and then slowly building up speed along the course of the journey.
after all, nobody bursts off at full speed during the start right? (sure burnout)

and so, although the year has already begun, school will only begin next week, therefore the four of us (hz, aloy, yuquan, and myself) will be setting off on our trip tomorrow to malaysia, travelling from penang down to kl and then jb and finally singapore. subsequently, it will be moving back to sheares hall and getting ready for lessons again... but for now, i'm quite excited about the trip because we're gonna' have experienced locals with us to bring us to the cheap and good delicacies!
this will be the last chance to fully unwind before school term dictates that we shall have reduced levels of freedom to do fun things   :o|


on a sidenote, i have fully set up my now functional blackberry bold 9790.
wonder if that's a good thing; too much technology often proves to be otherwise...

hmm mixed feelings on this issue.

is this the new year or just another night?
is this the new fear or just another fright?
is this the new tear or just another desperation?
is this the finger or just another fist?
is this the kingdom or just a hit-and-miss?
a misdirection, but most in all this desperation

is this what they call freedom?
is this what you call pain?
is this what they call discontented fame?
it'll be a day like this one
when the world caves in

i'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
from broken arms and broken noses in the back
is this the new year or just another desperation?

you push until you're shoving
you bend until you break
till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay
it'll be a day like this one
when the world caves in

there's nothing here worth saving
is no one here at all?
is there any net left that could break our fall?
it'll be a day like this one
when the sky falls down
and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
are you discontented?
have you been pushing hard?
have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?
it'll be a day like this one
when the world caves in

is there nothing left now?
nothing left to sing?
are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy?
is this the new year or just another desperation?
does justice never find you?
do the wicked never lose?
is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

and nothing is okay
till the world caves in