mistakes, mistakes

we all make mistakes, and trust me we've made many.

but surely, learning from them and taking away valuable life lessons has to be top priority - after the errors have been made.

with respect to this, i hope that a close friend of mine will, in the near future, be able to start taking his failures as lessons, and eventually rise from the darkness. admittedly, it will be one hell of an uphill climb, but with a clear direction in mind, together with determination and perseverance... like i said, it is possible.

and i guess this may serve as a reminder to us all as well. after all, learning from failures does not apply solely to the mistakes we've made ourselves, but also to the mistakes of others.

it is not easy to avoid falling into the same trap just by observing other victims and telling yourself that you won't be like them (since one has not experienced making the actual mistake itself), but try we must.
and change for the better we must, if we have erred.

on a side note, i guess it isn't a question of how much the past matters, but instead, of how much we have learnt from our pasts. we've all done some good and some bad in our lives, but putting the good aside, it is how we've responded and reacted to the bad, that matters.

imagine two criminals with the same history - one has learnt from his mistakes and turned over a new leaf, while the other is a classic case of the leopard who never changes its spots. whose past matters more? the first one because he has successfully changed for the better after all that he's been through, or the second one because his past still defines who he is now?

does the answer depend on how you interpret the question?

domino

today, we had a long chat at night again, even though it was via bbm and not face-to-face. and hearing about other people's plights + the stories of some other couples, can only serve as a reminder to never ever take what we have now for granted.

think about it - the loved ones and the friends around us are all blessings. take them for granted, and one will understand the pain when they are no longer around.
it's like how i saw this recently: "before you complain about how far it is to drive there, think about those who have to walk the same distance."
taking even our daily privileges for granted, is probably a common habit amongst many in first-world societies today.

therefore, i shan't pass up on even the smallest things.
even though i have much to be grateful for these past 3 days (such as having helpful friends whilst i was settling my COE issues and online bike forum woes, a good chill-out supper session with hz which we haven't had in a long time, regain of substantial positivity back in life / banishment of the settling negativity, and even securing an honours thesis supervisor wayyy in advance), i just wanna' say that i was really glad for the long chats the past 2 nights... especially tuesday night when we wanted to go to sleep at 11 plus and ended up sleeping at 1-ish; i really enjoyed that entire period, of non-stop rambling about stratified and quota sampling.

guess it might not seem like a big thing, and instead, sound terribly boring and geeky even! but at the end of the day, when we talk like that, it just puts a warm feeling inside of me that i'm really glad to have.

can't explain it properly here, but from the following tweet i can safely assume that you enjoy that feeling as well (o:>

Life is like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay, some laugh with you, some at you, some didn't come. But in the end, after the fun, there would be a few who would stay and help clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those were the ones who didnt even make the mess. - Unknown

so, let's not take those people for granted shall we.


rock my world into the sunlight
make this dream the best i've ever known
every second is a highlight
when we touch don't ever let me go

save me

sigh, lately i've been feeling terribly down and out...
like it's almost some minor form of temporary depression or something.

furthermore, having to pretend that i'm fine all the time really is taking its toll.
i know that i'm not a positive person to begin with, so i do try to incorporate some aspects of it (such as being cheerful) into daily life... but at the end of the day when i'm at my lowest moments, i realize that i don't have anyone to turn to.
guess it's 'cause i don't wanna' burden them, or perhaps i just don't wanna' let them know that i am sad or weak or whatever. and so it's just me and the darkness of my room each night, coupled with overthinking and insomnia.

you may ask me, "what's causing all this?" and to that i will tell you that i don't know... but deep down inside, i guess i do know...
all the many reasons that could so well be contributing factors.

and that's just me for you.


i feel my wings have broken in your hands
i feel the words unspoken inside
and they pull you under
and i would give you anything you want, no
you were all i wanted
all my dreams are falling down
crawling 'round and 'round


somebody save me
let your warm hands break right through
somebody save me
i don't care how you do it
just stay, stay
c'mon, i've been waiting for you


i see the world has folded in your heart
i feel the waves crash down inside
and they pull me under
and i would give you anything you want, no
you were all i wanted
all my dreams have fallen down
crawling 'round and 'round


somebody save me
let your warm hands break right through
somebody save me
i don't care how you do it
just stay, stay
c'mon, i've been waiting for you


all my dreams are on the ground
crawling 'round and 'round


somebody save me
let your warm hands break right through
somebody save me
i don't care how you do it
just stay, stay
i made this whole world shine for you
just stay, stay
c'mon, i'm still waiting for you

why, why georgia

uncanny.

i just typed out some lyrics from a song here, omitting certain parts and only choosing the relevant lines, when it occurred to me that i might have posted something from the same song before... i did a quick search and true enough, i had posted lyrics from that song before (16082011 - why georgia).

funny thing is:
the words i chose were completely identical to the ones almost a year ago.

apparently that's just how i relate (and always will relate?) to the song, or it could simply be that whatever was relevant then has stayed relevant till today.

some worries and thanks

haven't blogged for the entire of july up till now, due to being busy with the nus summer programme 2012. it was really a 24/7 kinda' job and i was seriously restrained from all the many things that i wanted to complete. so now the pile that stands before me looks daunting, and i feel procrastination manifesting itself... slowly but surely during these past few days. guess i shall expect to be busy for the remaining half of the month as well, trying to catch up with everything, so i may just try to hit 5 posts for this month and let that be it. anyway, school is about to start soon.

in the meantime, i will really need to get rid of all these negative thoughts... the past few days have not been too bright i must say, and in any case, self-defeating self-talk does no good to any mindset at all.
but it is not easy.

"the mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive." - eckhart tolle

how true... therefore, i must aim to be positive in all matters.
but perhaps it is an innate characteristic that i'm up against?
hmm well, i suppose there is no harm in trying.

putting that aside... busy as i was during the 2 weeks of being a student facilitator, the summer programme was really quite a meaningful and fulfilling experience.

we went to many places and made many new friends, listened to inspiring speakers and learnt how some businesses and social enterprises were started. i'm really grateful to everyone i've met, for being a part of my life during the two weeks... the experiences they shared with me most certainly enriched me in intangible ways. i'll also remember all the many things they did for us, such as the dessert treat at 18 chefs on the last night... and also, i was most touched by the birthday celebration! (really wanna' thank jiajian, karan, mingchuan, yvonne, shuling, and all of them)

speaking of birthday celebrations, although she noobly revealed it the first time round, i still managed to get my surprise on saturday night (i'll pretend that i didn't notice the extra texting all night, and also the time delay tactics to the supermarket and gongcha).
still, it was a pleasant surprise and i thank egg boob plus stanley (:
the brunch at canopy was nice too, with egg boob and horizon smile (:
but most importantly, the one person who spent all 24 hrs of the day with me (o:>

my gratitude also goes out to all who wished me... i really did try to reply to each and every wish personally. especially those who made effort to sms/text me: my mom, liamzai, azie, neddely, ziqing, jon, oly's mom, daryl, krish, xianglong, my cousin cherlyn, liqing, hanzong, jon loh, peiwen, tw.

tw also got me this running man polo from korea which is awesome haha. and for all the gifts that i received, i'm really happy and thankful and i promise that they'll be put to good use.

and so, my 24th year on this planet is beginning...
it's time to look forward.