listen to your heart

i'm glad that oly and i have started a separate blog, which we'll post in, to keep each other updated about things (instead of e-mails!)
with that said, this blog might be receiving much lesser input because i'll be more devoted to spending my time to write in the other one, that goes without saying...

anyway it's not like i have many readers anyway.
or if i do, then i don't know much about them because they just read and leave without commenting/tagging (haha).

well, i'll try to post some stuff here but that sounds unlikely so let's see what the gap will be like between this post, and the next.

till then,
ben.

and there are voices

that want to be heard

so much to mention

but you can't find the words

the scent of magic

the beauty that's been

when love was wilder

than the wind

heads up

mmm looks like i will be drowning myself more in music more this semester... travelling around nus alone especially, my new full-time companion will be my ipod, with whom i've forged a relationship since 2008.

and so, after sending oly off at the airport on sunday, it was the only thing i was listening to for most part of my journey home. but i felt like it was being a little unkind to me, with the song choices that came up one after the other (it was on shuffle mode).
on the other hand, perhaps it's just that the sad songs have so much more meaning now. and the songs which would have meant nothing on normal days, now just seem to hold more significance in their lyrics.

oh well, at least i can take comfort in the fact that the days leading up to oly's departure were well spent in preparation and all that. most certainly, preparation is important, because without it there is bound to be failure (said confucius). but also, once the boat has been built and readied, one simply has to let go, let it sail out far and wide into the open seas and let nature take its course.

with faith, it will return in the same manner that it had set sail in.


and birds go flying at the speed of sound
to show you how it all began
birds came flying from the underground
if you could see it then you'd understand

a new chapter

yesterday was a significant day for me... a significant moment in my life.

and it hasn't really quite sunk it properly yet.

but the feeling of it all being so surreal, i guess, is slowly creeping in as reality attempts to hit me... i suppose the only way from here is to move on, since after all, we all have to choose to be happy (heard from somewhere during the ndp rally yesterday).

not easy.

there are so many things to say, but it's just impossible to verbalize them right now. even as i sit in my room at 3pm in the afternoon typing this, the skies outside are an accurate reflection of the turmoil and feelings swirling inside of me: dark, cloudy, rainy, cold.

i cannot put into words all the emotions i'm experiencing, and it actually is really difficult attempting to write a coherent post here with proper content.

anyway, keeping in line with the post title, the whole point of me starting a new post today is that i would just like to note down here, that i've just closed shut my 2011-2012 organiser.

been keeping it open at the last 2 weeks, but i guess it's time to switch to the new 2012-2013 one...

although the new one is all filled with blank pages and new lines for things to be written down in (the stuff that i am going to do this sem), the old one has all the many scribbles and notes in it, of everything planned, done, and experienced last sem and throughout the holidays.

and it really feels rather upsetting to not be able to see those things now.

超人不会飞

如果超人会飞
那就让我在空中停一停歇
再次俯瞰这个世界
会让我觉得好一些

拯救地球好累
虽然有些疲惫但我还是会
不要问我哭过了没
因为超人不能流眼泪

sick cycle carousel

school is starting again... and as the semesters go by, it's slightly alarming to suddenly realize that year 3 is commencing on monday. it's time to print notes, check out reading lists, and scour the used textbooks forum for cheap buys again.

but this feeling of oldness doesn't really hit you until you start seeing all the freshmen coming into hall, gather in groups and mingle like high-energy molecules starting a new life in a totally new environment, bouncing off the walls and colliding with each other, forming new bonds and complexes.
all excited and ready to go, are these young things with fresh blood coursing through their veins... but the dynamics are changing for me. i feel increasingly tired trying to keep up with the events, such as the orientations camps, barbecues, and the games of charades at the rooftop etc.
much like a stable compound slowly formed over time, you can think of me as an inert gas molecule floating about in the entropy.

it is not that i have decided to no longer support the block in her events and become a hermit though; i guess it is just a shift in focus onto other things. this upcoming semester before i fly on exchange to manchester, i will have to focus on different things as a year 3 student, much unlike the so-called freshman and sophomore years. (incidentally, in the west they still refer to year 3 students as juniors, but that's just a sidetrack piece of info and besides, i don't really feel very 'junior' in any case.)

which brings me back in time as i think about the first year i stepped into sheares hall, plus the goals and different motivations i had back then. we all just wanted to experience hall life and all the funny things people said occurred only in hall, so perhaps in the beginning, the intention was just to make friends and have fun being a university student for the first time! and then these focuses changed slowly over the semesters, both academic-wise as well as the other various aspects... i guess everybody has their own motivations for doing the things that they do.

anyway, these past two weeks i haven't really blogged, so i think i must have been rather busy... similarly, the forecast for whatever's left of august is expected to be hectic and packed; there are just so many things that need to be done and completed by the end of the month :\
in fact, a few months ago i was in quite a dilemma...

this girl i knew, started becoming a real close friend and we began to hang out pretty often. i could read her like an open book, effortlessly follow her train of thought, and even predict her moves so easily, it was uncanny... but we felt so comfortable being around each other. eventually, it was only a matter of time before feelings developed, and i really did like her a lot (o:>
but the thing was, we would be separated for a year.

ultimately, i decided to take a chance and give the impending year-long LDR period a shot. went for it as early as possible, so that we would have more time together before the separation... and that was the intention.

but a few months ago, i still had half a year.
now, that time is almost all used up.