rooftops and invitations

"it is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."

  - george gissing, the private papers of henry ryecroft, 1903


and she just might get you lost
she just might leave you torn
but she just might save your soul
if she gets you when she
gets you any closer
can you believe your eyes?

fear of the unknown

why do people always want to know things?

they can't stand not knowing.

if the military plans to transport a highly explosive warhead through a village, should they tell the people?
if a friend asks to borrow your car with the intention of using it for illegal drug trafficking across the causeway, would you rather he tell you or keep it from you?
or a simpler day-to-day example: if your arachnophobic friend happens to have one small spider crawling up her bag, would you point it out to her?

note that in all these three situations, not knowing isn't going to pose any sort of credible harm to the parties involved. but put yourself in their shoes and then decide whether you would want to know or not.

what is your answer?



this doubt is screaming in my face
in this familiar place
sheltered and concealed
and if this night won't let me rest
don't let me second guess
what i know to be real

put away all i know for tonight
and maybe i just might
learn to let it go
take my security from me
and maybe finally
i won't have to know everything

and i am falling into grace
to the unknown to where you are
and faith makes everybody scared
it's the unknown, the don't-know
that keeps me hanging on and on and on to you

classic!

hahaha be careful whenever you are trying to manipulate someone...
he or she may just be manipulating you right back.

just like how i was talking to the psych freshies denise linying and qianyun (+ hanzong hueiling and wenbin) the other day at lunch, if i were ever to become a professor at a university, the first module i'd like to offer would be titled manipulative psychology.

after all, we are always conditioning and manipulating people all the time.
even giving the slightest frown when your friend burps loudly, that is subtle conditioning... and your friend will eventually learn not to burp out loud anymore.

your actions may be conscious and intended, or totally subconscious.
either way, trust me when i say that you are conditioning other people all the time, whether you know it or not.

once you are able to master the art of getting people to do what you want them to, whether via use of conditioning or just plain playing on their hungers/weaknesses (without them knowing of course), then i'd say you have reached the next level - manipulating.

but of course, be wary...
the true master is the one who reverse-manipulates you by allowing you to believe that you are controlling them.

i will possess your heart

haste makes waste?     or     he who hesitates is lost?

i say strike the balance.


how i wish you could see the potential
the potential of you and me
it's like a book elegantly bound
but in a language you can't read (just yet)

you got to spend some time, love
you got to spend some time with me
and i know that you'll find love
i will possess your heart

there are days when outside your window
i see my reflection as i slowly pass
and i long for this mirrored perspective
when we'll be lovers, lovers at last

better together

question: what makes a full and happy life?

there's no combination of words
i could put on the back of a postcard
no song that i could sing
but i can try for your heart
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia tone loving

love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart
like why are we here?

and where do we go?
and how come it's so hard?
it's not always easy
and sometimes life can be deceiving
i'll tell you one thing

it's always better when we're together

mmm it's always better when we're together
yeah we'll look at the stars when we're together
well it's always better when we're together
yeah it's always better when we're together

in your atmosphere

FSFN.

i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i don't know what it's like to land and not race to your door
i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore

i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i'm not sure that i really ever could
hold on to a hotel key in your bedroom neighbourhood
me sleepwalking in hollywood

i'm gonna' steer clear
i'd burn up in your atmosphere
i'm gonna' steer clear
'cause i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you there
so i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore

i don't think i'm gonna' go to L.A. anymore
i'd get lost on the boulevard at night
without your voice to tell me, "i love you, take a right"
the ten and the two is the loneliest sight

i'm gonna' steer clear
i'd burn up in your atmosphere
i'm gonna' steer clear
'cause i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you
i'm gonna' steer clear, oh yeah
i'd burn up in your atmosphere
i'm gonna' steer clear
'cause i'd die if i saw you
i'd die if i didn't see you there
see you there

think i'm gonna' stay, gonna' stay in the gray
think i'm gonna' stay, gonna' stay, gonna' stay...
and all the streetlights say nevermind, nevermind
and the canyon lines say nevermind
and the sunset says we see this all the time
nevermind, never you mind

wherever i go, whatever i do
i wonder where i am in my relationship to you
wherever you go, whatever you are
i'll watch your life play out in pictures from afar

wherever i go, whatever i do
i wonder where i am in my relationship to you
wherever you go, whatever you are
i'll watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar

-

SASP took a big hit today, with total spendings going over the $200 mark thanks to driving, the purchase of my I/O textbook from co-op, and grocery shopping.
sigh i will need to do better... otherwise may's trip will be compromised.

speaking of which, checked the air tickets today again: $435 (no change)
so i'm starting to suspect that this may be the lowest rate i'm going to get.
might confirm the flight dates and tickets pretty soon, like by the end of the month.

-

in other news, due to the recent (re?)surfacing of negative emotions and slightly elevated susceptibility to angst, i will be attempting to revive the PIP.
also, once my ankle has fully recovered, the FR will be implemented as well, and these (along with the initial SASP mentioned earlier) shall serve as a three-pronged approach to my intended direction for the semester.

really hope to keep these so-called 'resolutions' and maintain high standards of discipline in all areas.

let's go *clap clap* let's go!

(ad)venture

one way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.
(william feather)

and believe me, the secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!
(friedrich nietzsche)

trust me, twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. so throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, and catch the trade winds in your sails...
explore, dream, and discover.
(mark twain)

you see, security is mostly a superstition. it does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
(helen keller)

and after all, i believe that life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "wow, what a ride!"
(anonymous)

we shouldn't be simply living the length of our life, but also the width of it as well.
(diane ackerman)

the tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
(w. m. lewis)

a ship might be safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for, are they?
(john a. shedd)

the above photo is taken along highway no. 9 near taroko national park, taiwan.

and i am in the process of planning for a backpacking trip (tentatively in may this year), that will take me around the whole of taiwan on a motorcycle.

perhaps when i pass by this exact place, i might have a sense of deja vu (:

(ad)venture!

follow through, make your dreams come true

don't give up the fight, it will be alright

'cause there's no one like you

in the universe

don't be afraid, of what your mind conceives

you should make a stand, stand up for what you believe

and tonight we can truly say

together we're invincible

and during the struggle, they will pull us down

but please, please let's use this chance to turn things around

and tonight we can truly say

together we're invincible

do it on your own, it makes no difference to me

what you leave behind, what you choose to be

and whatever they say

your soul's unbreakable