idealistic fool

whenever i am blessed with the opportunity to own something perfect, i swear i'd give it the best care and protection it deserves. i'd keep it safe and far away from harm, and keep it just the way it is - perfect.
and i'd always want to keep it that way, shiny and unblemished...
with each time i set my eyes upon it again, it would trigger the same elation and joy that i initially experienced when i first saw it.

i would really hate to see the first signs of wear and tear, when they appear.
even be it a tiny scratch underneath where people would hardly notice.
and many would just say that "oh it's just a small scratch that can't be seen... don't worry about it."

but no, i cannot accept that.
it's simply giving an excuse, which will only lead to more and more excuses in the future.
constantly telling yourself that "hey it's just this one time..." will not help the matter, and in fact, i believe that it will only lead to increased tendency to let your guard down and then make up more excuses when scratches occur again.

in the end, the effort to maintain your perfect object just diminishes to a near zero.
and then, what happened to that drive in the beginning?
worse still, what happens to the poor object?
it just slowly crumbles, and the cuts become longer and deeper with each additional time it is dropped... touch wood it shatters completely.

which is why i have always made the conscious effort to not loosen my grip on such matters, because it will only result in terrible things to come. we stop caring, we stop making the effort, we lose the sense of responsibility we once had, we become apathetic to something that is in fact so very dear to our hearts.

so, am i too idealistic?
and is it too much to ask for?

it's unrealistic to keep something perfect forever.
but i refuse to give up these stubborn efforts of mine.

all i want is to protect my dream come true.

虽然眼里没出现泪滴，

但心里的雨却其实下得很大，

很大。